


Ballad of Awakening

by Gracklenaught



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coming of Age, F/F, F/M, I know this fic looks really weird but stick with me, M/M, Medievalstuck, Multi, Polyamorous Relationship(s), There will be magic but not until later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gracklenaught/pseuds/Gracklenaught
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After strife comes to the Kingdom of Breath and havoc  reaches the land John, Dave, Karkat, and Vriska will have to try and liberate the Kingdom of Breath from the influence of Her Imperious Condescension and discover a lot more about their world on the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fanfic I've written in a loooooooong time so as one might imagine i'm more than a little rusty, but please give this fic a chance, i promise i have a grand design in mind. 
> 
> That being said I would like to point out that this fic's main pairing is in fact John/Dave/Karkat/Vriska odd i know but it will make more sense as the story develops, besides that there will be many other pairings and most of them will make more sense canonically than the main pairing, tags for them will be added as they appear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I reread this and decided not rewrite this but edit the chapter some more to get rid of a shitton of mistakes and awkwardness in the writing style, im also planning to fix up the other two chapters as well while i finish up the 4th chapter, which has taken entirely too long at this point but is almost done rest assured, also at some later date when i havent neglected to update for several months i will entirely rewrite the first three chapters because at this point my writing has improved and rereading this chapter that was written not even a year ago filled me with embarrassment and shame but that will have to wait, that being said, enjoy

-Dave

Your name is Dave Strider and a splash of icy cold water to the face has  
just roused you from your sleep.

“T-the fuck!” you splutter jumping up in your bed, shivering in the crisp morning air. Fumbling to grab your blanket, you bind it around yourself to try and recover some semblance of warmth. Feeling a little warmer you look around to try and figure out who the hell woke you.Giggles come from your bedside and you turn only to find Latula standing there holding an empty bucket.

“Morn1n’ Str1d3z,” that grin of hers does nothing for you. But she seems unaffected by your unamused stare “J4n3 thought w3’d g1v3 you two 4n 3sp3c14lly r4d w4k3 up c4ll,” she tugs down her rad shades to wink at you just as the meaning of her words dawn on you. “You two”? Shit, that can only mean-

A screeching curse sounds into the morning air. Karkat is awake. His growl echoes through the room, or it would, if your room could make anything echo. He turns on the villain who woke him at such a ridiculous hour. Finding the villain to be none other than Princess Jane Egbert only seems to increase his mounting hostility.

“WHAT THE BULGEMUNCHING SHIT JANE? DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING COCKBEAST THAT HAS TO BE UP BEFORE THE SUN EVEN RISES-”

“Karkat the sun is already up-”

“Y34h kv 1t r34lly 41n’t th-”

“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, GODDAMMIT!!!! I AM FUCKING YELLING AT YOU! YOU WOKE US UP AT FUCKING ASSCRACK O’CLOCK ON THE FIRST FUCKING DAY WE DON’T HAVE TO ANYMORE! AND WITH BUCKETS NO LESS!!!” the offending receptacle is in his hand in seconds, he does not hesitate to chuck it out the window.

“Yeah Jane that’s hella inappropriate, we’re still underage I’ll have you know. You’ve just scarred poor Karkat for life,” you get up and walk to Karkat’s bedside, wrapping your arms around the growling troll “I don’t think he’ll ever be able to get it on with a troll honey after this, too traumatized by visions of you dousing him with icy water to even be able to stand the sight of a bucket. I hope you’re happy,” finally Karkat gets fed up and shoves you off him. He pushes you hard enough to make you stumble but you shrug it off like it didn’t happen of course, you, stumbling? Hell nah that ain’t a thing that can happen, you’re too cool for that shit

“FUCK OFF STRIDER, I’LL BE ABLE TO ‘GET IT ON WITH A TROLL HONEY’ JUST FINE SHUT THE HELL UP!!”

“Sorry man, just wanted to stick up for you cause we’re best pail pals or whatever the fuck. Just chillin’ out and pappin’ each other’s asses when shit gets too intense and whatnot coolin’ each other off when it’s too hot to handle dumpin’ cold water on each other not unlike how you two ladies just did but cooler cause we’re just so ch-”

“OH MY GOD YOU ARE THE ACTUAL WORST MOIRAIL IN THE HISTORY OF CREATION! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SINK SO LOW…” he goes on, standing up now but you tune him out. He’ll tire himself out soon enough and now he’s not screaming at the girls anymore so that’s good. You look at Latula and she gives you a thumbs up. She approves of the relationship the two of you have and has even given you advice quite a few times about how to be a better moirail. You owe her a lot, you knew almost nothing about moirallegiance before you started yours with Karkat and you’d been far too embarrassed to ask Karkat himself about it, Latula was a life saver.

Karkat is still ranting about how you’re a horrible moirail, now shirtless as he’d thrown off his soaked shirt near the beginning of the rant but again you haven’t been listening (not because his chest looks really nice that thought is ridiculous you haven’t been listening because it’s the same grumpy bs he always says). 

The girls have been listening though and they look like they’re about to burst into laughter. And they do, Latula's laugh an enthusiastic chortle, loud with amusement while Jane’s is more a joyful series of hiccups accompanied by the occasional snort. If you were a less cool guy you would be smiling even if you are still wet. Jane’s laugh is just that cute, but cute laughs seem to be a family trait of the Egbert family.

“BOTH OF YOU ZIP IT! I’M STILL FUCKING MAD AT THE TWO OF YOU. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WAKING US SO FUCKING EARLY?”

“Well we are the heiress and her loyal knight bodyguard of course! You know this Karkat! What a silly question! I would expect a soon to be knight of the second heir to be more serious” she gets out between giggles, wagging her finger at him. He looks about ready to bite it off, teeth grinding together in annoyance

“And you should have expected this! It is my birthday and John’s, and you know as well as I that it is the time for pranks! It might as well be April fool’s again!”

“Y34h m4n, d1d y4 r34lly not 3xp3ct on3 of th3 roy4l pr4nk1n’ s1bs not to pull som3 4w3som3 pr4nk l1k3 th1s? 4nd m4y 1 s4y sh4k3 n’ b4k3” she grins at Jane “th1s pr4nk 1s 4ll k1ndz of r4d!” she brings up her hand offering a high five.

A smile spreads on Jane’s face as she gives Latula the high five, rubbing her hand afterwards at the force the radical knight used. But you aren’t paying attention to that, too busy recalling the last April fool’s day. You shudder at the memory. All that cake… The feeling of impending doom when you turned a corner only to see yet another prank trap. Man, the Egberts completely outdid themselves this year. You hope there isn’t a repeat of that horror today. Karkat seems to share this opinion as well because he shudders, and you’re fucking sure it isn’t due to the cold,

“NO THIS PRANK WAS NOT ‘4LL K1NDS OF R4D’ IN FACT IT WAS NO KINDS OF RAD, WHICH IS TO SAY NOT RAD IN THE LEAST. AND AS FOR APRIL FOOL’S DAY, DON’T REMIND ME, IT’S BAD ENOUGH YOUR WRIGGLINGDAY AND THAT WRETCHED HOLIDAY ARE ONLY TWELVE DAYS APART. I STILL HAVE FLASHBACKS ABOUT ALL THE CAKES THAT MET MY FACE. THE CAKES JANE, THEY'RE IN MY NIGHTMARES.”

“Yeah Jane, those cakes are keeping us up at night. End up getting woken up by the other’s screams about cake. Can’t sleep, why do you think shouty has those shadows under his eyes? Cake, that’s why, cakes invading his consciousness like an army of marauding musclebeasts. Stampeding all over the place with their massive fuck sticks just out in the open like that,” finally your skin is starting to feel a close to dry, but your clothes just aren’t getting there and that morning breeze is being a bit of a bitch. Mostly it’s just your shirt that’s wet, the water not really reaching your pants and you consider taking it off like your roommate did but can’t bring yourself to do it while there are ladies in the room. It’s like the only thing that you’re more modest about than him, but then trolls are known for generally not giving a shit about people of other genders seeing their naked bods. Jane should consider herself lucky the troll hadn’t felt the need to discard his pants as well, Latula wouldn’t give a shit though, you know from experience.

“They scarred the survivors in Karkat’s consciousness for life. All they can ever see is massive horse dong on the back of their eyelids. Too scared to even ride horses over to the next town for help. They just starve because of their lack of resources and the musclebeasts still won’t leave.” You leave your metaphor there, unsure exactly where you were taking it anyway. Jane picks up the conversation before the silence has a chance to extend into awkwardness.

“Hoo hoo, indeed, the two of you never do well with your own prankster’s gambits on that day, or any other for that matter. But I didn’t come here today just to wake the two of you and tilt the prankster’s gambit in my favor. Though that was a nice bonus!” she turns to face you “Dave, I would like to ask for your assistance in delivering a little ‘Birthday surprise’ to my darling little brother.”

She flashes you a wily grin that makes you remember why your heart used to flip its shit at the mere sight of her when you were little diaper baby. Embarrassing days when you would pick her bouquets of shitty little wild flowers to try and make her smile. Before you realized that she pretty much saw you in the same way she saw John. You’d already moved on since then though, so it didn’t matter. Of course you’d moved on to her brother who was completely straight and probably would never look at you that way either... Yeah that's gonna end well...

Latula nudges your side and you realize that you have been staring at Jane’s smile for a little too long. If you don’t say something soon the silence will get all kinds of awkward.

“Oh really?” you ask pausing for a second to give yourself a little time to think, “You need my help? Not surprising, all the ladies seem to need me for something or other. Pretty sure they’re just excuses to get some prime alone time with a bearer of the legendary Strider cool. But I’m not one to deny the ladies what they so desperately desire,” you can feel Karkat roll his eyes from the other side of the room.

“WHY CAN’T LATULA DO IT?” 

“M4n, my sp33d just 1sn’t r4d 3nough for th1s, 4s much 4s 1t p41ns m3 to 4dm1t,” the older knight quips as she leans on the wall. Jane continues

“This plan that is sure to heighten my prankster’s gambit more than the normal plan would. Would you be so kind as to come to the kitchen to receive instruction?”

“Sure thing my dear princess,” you bow and she grins at your gallantry. “I’ll help you deliver John’s ‘Birthday Surprise’. Or whatever the fuck, just let me get dressed real quick and we can get this shit started.”

She nods and goes to open the door

“I will await your presence at the castle kitchen my noble knight.”  
Latula coughs and Jane has the decency to look abashed at calling another her knight but is assured it isn’t a big deal. 

Man, they are so pale. You don’t know if they’re officially moirails and you aren’t nosy enough to try and find out but you know moirallegiance when you see it (mostly because of Karkat’s stupid troll romance novels). Karkat gives you a sideways glance that you know means ‘THESE IDIOTS NEED TO GET THEIR ROMANCE ON ALREADY’ so you figure they aren’t official moirails, but you don’t really care.

Having been reassured Jane opens the door to leave the room. She looks at Latula but the girl just shakes her head,  
“You go 4h34d cook13c4k3, 1’m gonn4 h4v3 4 word w1th th3s3 noobz r34l qu1ck,” Jane nods laughing and departs saying that she’ll be on the way to the kitchen again.

Once the door closes the older troll turns to the two of you and crosses her arms. She regards you with a calm expression you haven't seen on her often.

“Look, tod4y 1s 4 b1g d4y for th3 two of you. You w1ll b3 kn1ght3d and d3cl4r3d John’s off1c14l p3rson4l gu4rds, 4nd honor3d kn1ghts of th3 k1ngdom,” this you know, you have only been preparing for this day for years, but you don’t comment on it as she seems particularly serious right now, speaking with her own experience as Jane’s knight. Karkat seems to be thinking the same as he doesn’t respond sarcastically to the obvious remark.

“1 know you guys th1nk th1s 1s gonn4 b3 4 p13c3 of c4k3. Th4t 4ft3r th1s b1g c3r3mony 3v3ryth1ng’s gonn4 go b4ck to b31ng bus1n3ss 4s usu4l, 1 thought th3 s4m3 th1ng. W3ll th4t’s not go1ng to b3 how th1s go3s down 4t 4ll,” she sighs and rubs one of her arms before continuing “1t 1sn’t go1ng to b3 4ll b4ckfl1ps 4nd h1gh f1ves. Th1s 1s wh3n sh1t g3ts r34l. John 1s go1ng to b3 d3cl4r3d 4n off1c14l cont3nd3r for th3 thron3 4nd th4t m34ns p3opl3 4r3 go1ng to b3 try1ng to k1ll h1m,” the sudden sharpness of her tone almost makes you flinch, you can see it affects Karkat in much the same way “th3 two of you h4v3 to m4k3 sur3 th4t do3sn’t h4pp3n. You’r3 gonn4 h4v3 to st1ck by h1s s1d3 4ll th3 t1m3 4nd 1t’s gonn4 gr4t3 on your n3rv3s. Th3 thr33 of you w1ll g3t 1nto f1ghts, you’ll s4y th1ngs th4t you’ll n3v3r b3 4bl3 to t4k3 b4ck… 1t’s go1ng to b3 h4rd 4nd 1t’s go1ng to m4k3 4ll of you f33l l1k3 sh1t,” throughout the entirety of this monologue her voice has been getting harsher and colder. This is the voice she used when she was chastising you and Karkat for your combat stances during your training, the strict tone of a taskmaster, “Th1s job 41n’t 4s r4d 4s 1 m4k3 1t s33m. Do not t4k3 1t l1ghtly," the force of her stare makes you feel smaller than you already are, and considering your small stature that's practically miniscule.

After a few minutes of tension she lets out a sigh and seems to droop as the aura of authority she had been exuding evaporates "1’m go1ng to go c4tch up w1th J4n3,” she leaves the room satisfied after saying her piece. This leaves the two of you frozen considering her words until Karkat regains the will to speak.

“...DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TO US?” He’s sitting on the edge of his bed now, back hunched and you note his skin is still cold as you take a seat next to him.

“Nah, there’s no way. I mean sure that may have happened to her and Jane but you and me and John, Karkat we’re bros, and bros are closer than that. The three of us are gonna stay as close as cupcakes man, or three ants in a line. Walking behind each other in unison and all that shit,” you smile at him in a way you hope is reassuring, but most likely isn’t. But he seems to appreciate the effort and smiles at you for a second before coughing and getting to his feet

“SHOULDN’T YOU BE GETTING DRESSED TO GO JOIN JANE?”

You’d almost forgotten, fuck

“Shit man you’re right, gotta hurry up and meet her,” you’re off the bed and at your wardrobe shirking off your shirt in seconds. Behind you Karkat chuckles at your hurry stepping over to his own wardrobe. The two of you change in silence at first but it isn’t long before Karkat breaks it.

“I BET JANE NEEDING YOUR HELP TICKLES YOU PINK DOWN TO YOUR SOFT LITTLE HUMAN TOES. YOU MUST BE COMPLETELY GIDDY THAT ‘BOOTIFUL’ PRINCESS JANE NEEDS YOUR HELP FOR SOMETHING,” he imitates your speak as a child, smirking like the little shit he is. Your face could not get much redder. Oh god, you used to draw pictures of the two of you together, even going so far as to draw the two of you on your wedding day. To make it even worse you're pretty sure your showed Karkat, how embarrassing is that? Thank god he can’t see your face. You give yourself a second to try and calm down your stupid face pulling on a pair of pants.

“You know as well as I do that I got over that silly crush a long time ago.”

As you look for a shirt to put on you feel Karkat’s eyes on your back but you ignore it, too busy finding a shirt. The shirt you find isn’t exactly clean but it doesn’t reek so you put it on. Karkat seems to take that as his cue to reply.

“OH THAT’S RIGHT, NOW YOU’RE DROOLING OVER JOHN AREN’T YOU?” It isn’t a question. You opt to find your boots before answering.

“Big words from a guy in the same boat. You and me we’re just chilling in the people who like John boat. Rocking on the waves like it’s a fucking cradle-” he cuts you off just as you finish putting on the first of your boots.

“STRIDER ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER HAD TO SAY ABOUT ROMANCE IS COMPLETE AND UTTER MUSCLEBEAST SHIT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT. SO WHY DON'T YOU HURRY UP AND GO HELP THAT NIGHTMARE OF A PRINCESS. SO THAT, JUST MAYBE, I CAN AVOID THE LOSS OF BRAIN CELLS CAUSED BY LISTENING TO YOUR DRIVEL FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME.”

"Sure thing Karkitten, lemme just finish up here," the wink you throw makes him steam. Something you greatly enjoy, he always makes the best angry faces. Having pissed him off, you finish putting on your boots in silence.  
As you stand eight knocks sound from the balcony door. By the sudden wideness of Karkat's eyes it is obvious he's surprised, but you aren't worried, it’s kinda funny to be honest.

“Looks like you’ve got company,” you wink at him and he scowls just like you'd expected him to.

“Man we sure are popular with the ladies today, any more come our way we might have to start beating them off with sticks. Well, I’m gonna go meet Jane, have fun with your lady friend.” You leave shutting the door behind you, jogging down the hallway to get to the kitchen.

-Karkat

Your name is Karkat Vantas and there is no way you were just watching Dave’s ass as he left. Nope, definitely no possibility of that having been a thing that happened. He’s your goddamn moirail, kind of, you sick fucks there’s no way you would ever think of him in such a red way.

You stop thinking of things that definitely didn’t happen. Another set of eight knocks sounds from your balcony door and you sigh. What could she want? She must know today is the birthday of the heirs, doesn’t she realize you’re kind of fucking busy? (To be honest you're only busy fending off prank attacks for the most part, but you’re still fucking busy.)

A third set of knocks rings out, louder than before, and you sigh, getting up and heading to open the door. You open the door to the balcony. In comes a tiny shivering cerulean blood, rubbing her hands together and grumbling under her breath.

“Finally! Did you reeeeeeeeally have to keep me w8ing so long?" she whines as she steps past you, taking a seat on your bed rubbing her arms through her threadbare sleeves. You look down at her, glaring at her for her presumption, but then, it was nothing new. You close the door to the balcony with enough force to make a slam resound through the room.

“WELL YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE COME SO FUCKING EARLY THEN! YOU’RE LUCKY I WAS EVEN AWAKE!” even as you growl out the words out you spot on the corner of your bed a coat you'd flung there at the end of winter and hadn't moved since. You offer it to her and she snatches it from your hand. Trilling in satisfaction as she burrows into the fabric making her look even smaller than she already is.

“Oh pleeeeeeeease, like the prank-happy royal family wouldn’t rouse you from your sleep. There was pretty much no way you could’ve possibly 8een asleep,” she smiles up at you from her comfortable seat on your bed.

You roll your eyes at her logic, she runs her fingers over your sheets looking a little puzzled

“Why is your sleeping plateau is wet? I’d ask if you had a little accident but I’m pretty sure even you aren’t immature enough to do that,” she laughs as you glare down at her

“IF YOU MUST KNOW, MY SLEEPING PLATEAU IS WET PRECISELY BECAUSE OF ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE SO CALLED ‘PRANK-HAPPY ROYAL FAMILY'. HER AND HER STUPID PRANKS.”

"You don't saaaaaaaay?” the way her lips spread to express her smug satisfaction makes your teeth grind “Guess I was right after all. 8et you had some real choice words for her after she woke you up like that.”

“FUCK YEAH DO YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS? NOT EVERYONE IS IMBECILIC ENOUGH TO ENJOY TO WAKING UP AT FUCK MY THINK PAN SIDEWAYS O'CLOCK LIKE YOU SEEM TO.”

"It's not that I like waking up at such early hours, not that I would expect a simple minded brute like you to understand that,” her casual condescension is molasses replacing the air between you and her. Breathing in it fills your lungs with steaming anger. The way she throws back her hair tells you how much she cares, that is to say not at all.

A small hand comes up to tangle in her unkempt locks, bony, agile fingers work at the many knots in the strands, taking them apart in seconds.  
“I have to wake up at the 8r8k of dawn to get a head start on a long day of pick pocketing and other forms of petty theft. Worth it though, early featherbeast gets the worm after all. 8esides, if I didn't wake that early I'd never get the chance to see you anymore, always so 8usy. It's almost like you don't want to see me anymore,” the pout she shoots you could rival the faces of the clowns that once covered the castle walls in fakeness but it's clear this isn't just a joke. Vriska wouldn't fake hurt feelings over something like this unless they weren't completely fake.

So, you do what the two of you seem to do best.

"AS IF I COULD GO WITHOUT YOUR INCESSANT BRAGGING AND NAGGING FOR EVEN A PERIGEE, IF I TRIED TO MY BRAIN WOULD DRY UP AND COLLAPSE INTO ITSELF IN BOREDOM. IT'S A MIRACLE IT HASN'T HAPPENED ALREADY,WHAT WITH HOW LITTLE WE SEE EACH OTHER AT THE MOMENT," you bury your honest to goodness feelings under such a layer of bullshit the other has to resort to playing archeologist to dig up your meaning.

"WE SHOULD FIX THAT BY THE WAY, FIND A WAY TO HANG OUT MORE."

Thank goodness the two of you do this so ridiculously often you're practically experts by now. Vriska immediately figures out what you mean. Her lips split into a grin full of ridiculously sharp fangs that you definitely are not jealous of, at all.

"Weeeeeeeell since you can't seem to handle not seeing me for extended periods of time we should pro8a8ly work out a schedule. 8ut I' afraid there is actually something important to discuss."

This is new, what could she possibly have to say that was so important?

“OH REALLY? YOU? YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY? IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE! MIGHT AS WELL JOIN THE RETARDED ASSCLOWN CULT RIGHT NOW!"

"Yes, I have something important to s8y, stop acting so surprised!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT! YOU HAVING IMPORTANT NEWS IS ABOUT AS RARE AS HAVING A NIGHT WHERE I DON'T WAKE UP TO FIND DAVE FONDLING HIS SHAME GLOBES WHILE HE THINKS I'M ASLEEP. THAT IS TO SAY IT'S SUCH A RARE EVENT THAT IT'S PRETTY MUCH MYTHICAL," you say though it's a lie, that had only happened a handful of times.

"Yeah well shut up already so I can tell you what it is!!!!!!!! It is kind of urgent!" She launches into the next sentence before you can answer.

"Dualscar is here, in the kingdom," you look at her and her steady gaze leaves no question.

"YOU AREN'T FUCKING KIDDING. HE'S HERE? WHY THE HELL? WASN'T THE FUCKER WAS KEEPING THOSE GLOBESUCKING DERSITES FROM INVADING THE EMPIRE OR SOMESHIT?"

"Why do you think???????? He's here for the heir's ceremony! Here on a goodwill mission from the Empress herself or some 8ullshit like that," her shoulders are tense, mouth set in a scowl.

"He's just here to score some brownie points with the king, fucking suck up," she mutters, a growl spilling from her throat. You consider the information Vriska just shared with you, just the thought of that asshole near the two of you makes your skin crawl.

"WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING ABOUT IT?"

"What do you think? We're going to make him p8y. We're going to make that fuck sorry he was ever 8orn! Make him die such a slow and torturous death he'll beg us to just finish him off, but we won't," the smile on her face is wide compared to her narrow eyes.

"SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO WALTZ ONTO HIS SHIP AND KILL HIM?"

"Yeah, that's the 8est way to do this."

"VRISKA THAT IS A HORRIBLE PLAN."

"There is no time for planning Karkat! He's only here until tomorrow!!!!!!!! It's now, or never!" she cranes her neck up to look at you with a stony expression, firm as a rock. There is no way she is changing her mind, the force of your logic meets the immovable object that is her will, you yield.

“THIS IS, NO DOUBT, A TERRIBLE PLAN BUT I CAN’T LET YOUR STUPID ASS GO OUT AND GET YOURSELF KILLED. AND THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I AM NOT GONNA GET A PIECE OF THAT IGNORANT BEAD OF GLOBE SWEAT,”

“Thank you Karkat, your support means a lot. I mean I was going to go regardless, but your backup is gr8ly appreciated,” you hear relief buried in her tone as she pats you on the shoulder. Though she attempts to hide it under a self-satisfied grin, like she had been sure you would say yes no matter what.

“WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I’M COMING WITH YOU, EVEN IF IT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA AND WE’RE BOTH PROBABLY GOING TO DIE. THERE’S NO WAY I’M LETTING A PAN-DAMAGED FOOL LIKE YOU DIE ALONE, THAT WOULD JUST BE TOO SAD.”

"At least if we go out we’re going out together right?” the soft words lead to a soft touch as she takes your hand between both of hers. Even though you know this is an awful plan and you'll be lucky if either of you aren't grievously wounded somehow you think it’s still worthwhile. Her fingers look so small on either side of your palm like but you can still feel their strength. It makes your blood pusher speed up and you tell yourself it’s just the fear at the thought of dying on this mission of vengeance the two of you will soon embark upon. There is no way you have any red feelings for her whatsoever you mean you already have flush crushes on John and Dave and that's enough, having flush crushes on three people? That’s just silly and stupid and there’s no way that applies to you.

“YEAH, BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY. THIS CEREMONY IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL. GOTTA GREET ALL THE FACEMELTINGLY HIDEOUS GRUB SUCKS THAT ARE THE UPPER CLASS. GOD THAT IS GOING TO BE ANNOYING, AND EVEN BEFORE THAT THERE ARE STILL SEVERAL THINGS I NEED TO DO,” you sigh in annoyance and she laughs, crossing her arms. This makes her look even more insufferable, you scowl.

“Of course! Can’t have mister 8igshot miss a 8ig day of trying to avoid cussing out everyone in a ten mile radius!” she pinches your cheek because there is no way she’s passing up any chance to be insufferable in any way she can.

“I guess, I’ll just go explore the castle then until it’s time. Should be 8ig enough for me to get around without anyone spotting me” she winks “I am a gr8 thief after all, and thieves can’t do anything if they don’t know how to sneak around. Hey may8e I could even crash the after ceremony party, could be fun! May8e I’ll even get the drop on Dualscar and kill him while he drinks!” the idea is shithive maggots and she knows it but it doesn't stop her from fantasizing about it with a wistful grin on her face. She sees your scowl and sticks out her tongue

“Oh unclench grumpy, I know it’d be a 8ad idea, you don’t need to wear out your ocular glo8es to tell me. Not like I have any clothes fancy enough for a castle party, couldn’t 8lend very well at all.” She sighs and you get the sense that she wishes that she could go, but you don’t comment on it.

“Well anyway, I should go. A no8ody like me shouldn’t get caught in the cham8ers a prestigious knight to 8e” she says winking before she hops off the bed. Stretching out her arms she looks over her shoulder to declare “I’m gonna go explore the castle. May8e I'll take a few priceless treasures the royal family won’t miss,” she starts to saunter towards the door, swaying her hips like she belongs there. Once you process what she said you get up to try and stop her.

“NO WAIT-” you near her just in time to get a hold of her sleeve. Well actually the sleeve of your jacket, which continues to be far too big for her and obscures the entirety of her arm. You stop her but when she turns to look at you she doesn’t look worried in the least.

“You knoooooooow Karkat, I think I just so happened to leave my grappling hook dangling from the 8alcony. You should go get it 8efore any guards catch sight of it and wonder why promising young Vantas has a rope dangling from his 8alcony.”

“SHIT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!” you look to the balcony and it gives her enough time to slip out of the jacket and rush out the door. Curses fall from your lips and you rush out into the hallway but she’s already gone and you know that any attempt to catch her now would be unsuccessful. You kick at the dust and go out to the balcony only to find her grappling hook on the ground, rope coiled around it. That gogdamn crafty cerulean 8itch got you! You wish you could say it was the first time.

-John

Your name is John Egbert and you’ve just woken up. You sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before you remember that it’s a special day, your 16th birthday to be precise. As you are an Heir to the kingdom this birthday is particularly important. Today is your worthiness ceremony.

Remembering this makes your stomach twist up in knots so you decide to forget about it for the moment. You get up and yawn, stretching your limbs until they pop, expelling the stiffness of sleep before taking a seat on the edge of your bed.

Getting dressed should be your first priority, but you just can’t get yourself to move from your seat on the bed. Your eyes start to slip shut once again just as a set of knocks echo through your room. Who could that be? You wonder as you get up and open the door. Standing in the hallway is none other than your father, the king, holding a cake.

“Hey dad wha-” your question is interrupted by another yawn. He steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

“I came to congratulate you on your special day, but it seems I may have come too early,” chuckling he places the cake on a set of drawers you have by the door.

A ‘Thanks dad’ tumbles out of your mouth as you finally process his words. He ruffles your hair with a beaming smile and you grumble under your breath.

“Son, I hope you realize how important today is,” the king starts, finally getting serious. His gaze, peering down at you from under the brim of his sensible hat makes you feel self conscious and you rub your arm, unable to meet his eyes.

“Today is the day of your Worthiness Ceremony. The day you get to show the kingdom that you are worthy of one day contending for the throne, if not inheriting it,” along with these words your father sends you an encouraging smile but your nerves will not be shaken. Are you really worthy of contending for the throne?

Always one to notice when you are feeling particularly upset, your dad sweeps you into a big hug. It reminds you of the ones he would give you when you were young and dreadful nightmares had woken you in the middle of the night. Though the embrace is unexpected it is not unwelcome and you hide your face in the fabric of his tunic and return the embrace.

“I remember what it was like son. I remember worrying that I wasn’t good enough. I remember losing sleep because I was wondering if I could possibly be a good ruler,” his whisper comforts you as your relax in his grip. He takes a deep breath before he continues “But I can tell you this, son, you are good enough. I can see it in you, John. One day, you will be a wonderful ruler, if Jane doesn’t beat you to it that is,” the laugh that he lets out is quiet and soft and you exhale in the comfortable silence, feeling like a weight had been lifted from your chest. Dad releases you now, stepping back to meet your eyes.

“Son, I am so proud of you. I am proud of all of you, you and Dave and Karkat have all grown up to be exemplary young men. Jane too has grown up to become an excellent young lady, and Latula has as well. I know the five of you will grow up to accomplish great things. And with how much you look like your old man you'll look great while doing it," he winks and the two of you laugh. If there’s any way to cheer you up your dad can always find it, a quality you are endlessly grateful for.

When the laughing is all well and done he hmms and gives you a once over.

“Son, you should get dressed and ready, today is your big day remember? Can’t very well go about it in only your sleepwear,” he waggles his finger like you’re a naughty child, you shake it off, smiling.

“Well what if I do? Who says I won’t go around dressed like this all day and pass it off as a prank? Afraid my prankster’s gambit will go off the charts?”

“Son, if you decide to do that during the ceremony I may just have to cancel it,” a chill races down your spine at the cold tone of his words. But then he laughs and returns to his cheerful demeanor “I’m sure you will decide it isn’t for the best though,” he finishes.

“Well, I will leave you to get dressed, give these to Dave and Karkat when you see them,” he hands you two little unsealed envelopes, both around the size of a business card. One had Karkat's name on it and the other had Dave's both written in the businesslike hand of your father.

“I will be busy setting up everything for the ceremony so I won’t have the chance to see any of you again before it starts. Goodbye son, have a happy birthday! I’m so, so proud of you,” the door slides shut behind him and you stand there for a few seconds. You have a feeling this is going to be a long day.

After you finally snap out of your daze you place the envelopes on the drawers by your door. You figure you’ll see them as you’re leaving and remember to take them with you. Having done that you proceed getting dressed, you don a simple blue tunic for now.

As you finish strapping your boots there’s a knock at the door.

"Hey John, I'm coming in so you better not be jerking it in there," you hear from behind the door. Before you can answer Dave walks in anyway somehow opening the door despite having one cake balanced in each hand.

“How nice of you to knock,” there’s no real bite to the remark, you are too used to his behavior to be either surprised or annoyed.

“Just had to come see how my main man was feeling on his like, maturity day or whatever the fuck. You look about as ready for this as a cat is to take a bath though,” a smile wants to overtake his lips you can tell but he doesn't let it. Hiding his emotions is just another way for him to preserve the so called ‘ironic’ teachings his father drilled into his head all those years ago. Even if, in the years since, your dad has pretty much been acting as Dave’s father, and Karkat’s too, to a certain extent. Of course he could never replace Dave’s father or Karkat's guardian. However this did not stop him from providing the fatherly support necessary for them to grow up happy and healthy besides you and Jane. No less than what he did for Latula.

“But hey, Janey told me to bring these over to you,” he says stepping closer and you narrow your eyes. Suspicious of cake on today of all days but hesitantly you reach out to take them from him. Before you can though, he slams one into your face with enough force that you lose your balance and fall back onto your ass. Luckily something softer than brick breaks your fall, unluckily, that thing is also cake. Cake most likely dropped there with the aid of Dave’s ridiculous speed you realize as you bring down a hand to feel at the thing that broke your fall.

Your face and your ass are covered in frosting. You can feel your prankster’s gambit fall into the negatives.

“That was also courtesy of Jane, Happy Birthday John,” you hear Dave say, monotone as ever as the cake falls off your face. You glare up at him from your moist seat as you consider what to do next. Even if he was just acting on Jane’s orders you still had to get yourself a little retribution, but how? Your eyes lock on the cake your dad left on the drawers and you realize you know exactly how to get your revenge.

Dave offers you a hand to help you up and you take it scowling at him

“Thanks,” you mutter like you're still mad so he doesn't get suspicious, you wait. When he starts to pull you up, you pretend to stumble and threaten to send the both of you down almost to the floor. His eyes widen in surprise and you keep the image in your mind to contemplate when you aren't both in the middle of a prank and plunging towards the ground. You always have loved the unusual shade of his eyes.

“Sorry!” you mumble after you pretend to catch your balance and straighten your leg under you, pushing the both of you up and leaving you chest to chest with him. For a second you swear you see him flush, but shrug it off as you use his surprise to push the both of you closer to the door.

"John, what the hell are you doing?” his back meets the wall besides the doorway. His eyes are still wide and he seems to be both incredulous and happy for some reason. But you don't wonder about why that could be and you don’t answer, instead reaching for the cake with a grin on your face.

“Shit, I should’ve known,” there’s disappointment in his tone when he realizes what’s going on for a split second right before the cake meets his face. You think it's kind of weird, why would he be disappointed in himself for not seeing the prank coming, it isn't like it's unusual. The thought throws you off enough you can't completely enjoy the feeling of getting a few notches back on your prankster's gambit.

Dave scrapes the cake off his face and you smile at him as he places it on your drawers again. Your smile is so big your lips are starting to hurt but you don’t stop even as he gives you the most fake, most wounded expression you’ve ever seen

“Wow John, that really stings, I thought I could trust you and then you betray me like this? Did our friendship really mean so little to you, you callous prince?” he asks with the over dramatic flair typical of his long declarations. You decide to play along

“But don’t you see Dave? It was you who betrayed me. Conspiring with my sister to get cake not only on my face, but also on my ass, and now your betrayal is repaid, you dirty traitor.”

He’s about to retort when the door opens to reveal Karkat, also entering without warning.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?” he asks, eyeing both your cake covered faces and glancing at your frosted ass, perhaps staring at it for a second or two too long but you don’t notice.

“Karkat you have just stumbled into a secret meeting of the cake-faced club. Now that you have seen our most secret, sacred ceremony you must become one of us. Otherwise we will be forced to silence you, permanently,” the ridiculous lie comes out of Dave’s mouth immediately, serious tone making you grin as you nod in agreement. You once again grab the cake that you had already slammed against Dave’s face and approaching Karkat

“Yeah Karkat, you have to join us”

“NO! THERE IS DEFINITELY NO WAY I AM JOINING YOUR IDIOTIC RANKS! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” the troll shakes his head, stepping back as you approach

“One of us, one of us, one of us,” you hear Dave chant behind you step towards the troll.

“JOHN I SWEAR IF YOU DARE HIT MY FACE WITH THAT CAKE I’LL-” you don’t let him finish; planting the squashed cake right on his before he can stop you.

For a second the world is completely silent as Karkat gets the cake off his face. As the cake comes off a face of absolute rage is revealed. He grabs your pant’s waistband and stretches it open wide. When he shoves the cake down your pants, trapping it in your undies, you are not expecting it. Needless to say it is pretty uncomfortable. Karkat's frosted glare is toasting you alive.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, kept gettin sidetracked and whatnot, but here is the second chapter, had it written up for a while but couldn't seem to tinker with it enough to get it just right so now i just decided fuck it, wasted so much time on this i already got a first few three drafts of ch. 3 written up and almost got done with the first draft of ch.4 before i got too bored to finish it up, first drafts a mess anyway, i'll rewrite it later, so here ya go ch.2
> 
> Now you get to see Dave and Vriska meet, with Karkat there to whine all the while and also John's whole ceremony thing gets done with, enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brushed this up like the first chapter, just one left to fix

-John

Your name is John Egbert and you wish your two best friends would shut up

“Look all I’m saying is that we need to come up with a new codename for our two person crew. Knights in time just doesn't cut it anymore, and by it I mean the finest goat cheese in all the land. Seriously that old codename is so dull and rusted it can’t even pierce the damn thing. Fancy old noble tries to use it to cut his finest cheese but gets frustrated as the day wears on and the can’t get the slice he’s jonesing for. Wonders why exactly he has such a piece of shit cheese knife anyway-”

“STRIDER IF YOU’D EVER CARED TO LISTEN TO ME WHEN YOU BROUGHT THIS UP IN THE PAST YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT WE HAVE NEVER BEEN CALLED KNIGHTS IN TIME. SUCH A NOOK CHAFFINGLY USELESS CODENAME WOULD NOT GRACE MY LIPS WHEN SPEAKING OF US. NOT THEN AND CERTAINLY NOT NOW. AND SECOND YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT TRYING TO GET US A NEW CODENAME NOW WOULD SURELY BE AS USELESS AS YOU TRYING TO GET WITH ANY OF THE FINE HONEYS YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POINT OUT TO ME ON A REGULAR BASIS,”

“Wow, that really hurts bro, just broke my fragile heart like I do to the numerous lovely ladies who get their romantic hopes up. Wishing to get a piece of this action. Maybe we should call ourselves the heartbreaker’s club now, given our tendency towards cardiovascular destruction,”

“NO, THERE IS NO WAY I’M LETTING YOU GIVE US A STUPID NAME LIKE THAT, NO WAY, NO HOW,”

“But sweeeeeet heart…”

Your eye twitches as you listen to them bicker, any other time you would be laughing at their silly fight, but not today. Not on the most important day of your life! Not on the day that would change everything! No, today this will not fly! So you turn to them and give them your best foreboding smile

“The ceremony is about to start, and if you two are arguing when we walk down the aisle I won’t be held responsible for what happens to you,” you tell them before turning back to stare at the door without another word.

The startled silence lasts just long enough for the door to the hall of ceremonies to open. Revealing the view of the pristine hall. Sitting on the many rows of pews each and every noble looks back at you. And despite your regal blue attire you feel naked in front of them. You can't seem to take that first step anymore. After a second your knights sense your hesitance and place their hands on your back. Dave whispering that you can in fact do this and Karkat calling you ridiculous is enough reassurance to help you take your first step into the hall.

All eyes are still on you but this no longer shakes your resolve. And then you catch sight of your father and all the eyes seem to melt away entirely. His eyes are twinkling with pride as he waits for you at the front of the room, ecstatic to declare you worthy to someday compete for the throne. You smile back as you approach, Dave and Karkat keeping step with you as you walk to the end of the room. You stop at the end of the aisle three steps from where the floor rises in a pair of steps, separating the center of ceremonies from the rest of the room.

Though you stop just in front of the steps Dave and Karkat continue. They walk past you, only stopping when they stand in front of your father one to either side of him. They kneel in unison, something they had to practice quite a bit to figure out. Karkat's head is level with your father's hips but Dave, with his smaller stature, barely comes up to his mid thigh. You smile, it's always been amazing to you how both Dave and Karkat could manage to fill a room just as much as each other despite their differences in height.

“As knights of the newly appointed heir, do the two of you swear to watch over him, protect him, and do everything in his best interest for as long as you are in his service?”

“We swear/WE SWEAR,”

“Do you swear as knights to protect this grand kingdom as well even if it means to lay down your lives as well?”

“We Swear/ WE SWEAR,”

“Then I now dub the two of you official knights of the heir,” the ceremonial sword once sheathed at his side is now withdrawn to kiss their shoulders briefly before they raise their heads and stand. He takes a pair of pins with your kingdom’s symbol and pins one on each of their chests right over their hearts.

He’s smiling at them with the same fatherly pride that he smiles at you with, but you can see in his eyes a small glint of sadness. He’s probably thinking about his own knights. He has never been able to tell any of you exactly what happened to them, just that it involved a battle against troops of the Alternian empire. They died noble deaths.

Now knighted, your friends join Jane and Latula near the right side of the room. Jane smiles at the two of them as Latula pats their shoulders in congratulations adorned in the official clothes of knighthood as they are. When you turn your attention back to the front, your father is looking down at you. A gentle smile on his face as he waits for you to step up. With one last steadying breath you do, facing your father in front of a room full of nobles.

“Son, I am so, so proud of you,” he whispers as a servant rolls up a glass case, containing a cake, covered by a massive marble slab. Your father clears his throat

“You have proved yourself more than worthy of competing for the throne my son. Being both kind and fair and more than willing to put the needs of your people ahead of your own. All important qualities for a ruler. So today, on the thirteenth of April, your 16th birthday I declare you an heir. A future contender for the throne,” he smiles and nods at the block “now to make it official…”

Ready to prove yourself in the way of all Egberts you place your hands on the block wrapping your fingers around it’s edges. Lifting it proves to be harder than you thought at first, but it isn't too much of a challenge. Soon enough you are easing it over your head.

That is exactly when everything decides to go to hell. Just as you manage to lift it completely over your head the wall to your left explodes in a fiery burst of debris, throwing the block of marble from your grip and knocking you to the right.

Your head crashes into something hard and then everything goes dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, welcome to the new action packed chapter of BoA!!! in this chapter our heroes are forced to flee as Asshole mcliferuiner (AKA Dualscar) decided to show his face once again, and, you guessed it, riun everyones lives! and he's ruining Vriska and Karkat's lives for the second time too, looks like this dudes going for the record! How will our heroes react to this shocking development? and how will they get out of this mess? tune in and find out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, i finally finished this up, and just in time for that deadline i made for myself too! man editing and writing action are fuckin hard, but anyway this chapter is shorter than the others but it takes place over a smaller amount of time and is all fast fast fast action! It also has a lot of action, more than the other chapters which is harder to write than i remembered, oh! also this chapter features a certain someone's narrative debut! It's Vriska! she gets to narrate now! wooo! but anyway go on and read this and tell me what ya think, if you want that is, enjoy

-Karkat

Your name is Karkat Vantas and everything has just gone to hell. The wall to your right has just fucking exploded and now you can’t hear anything or seem to catch your balance.

When you look to see if John’s alright you find him passed out on the floor. His head is bleeding where it smashed into the block of marble he'd just been lifting. The king kneeling besides him, checking his injuries though it's clear he got hit by the blast hard too.

You want to head over there to pick him up but someone seizes your wrist and jerks you to the left before you get the chance. It’s Dave, rare look of fear on his face as he in turn is pulled by Latula, who’s other hand is locked around Jane’s wrist, dragging her as well. Your destination is the row of columns on the left side of the room, curtains draped between them behind which artifacts for various celebrations are kept.

A last look behind you reveals a pair of massive navy bloods climbing in from the hole in the wall. One of them wraps his arms around Dadbert in a horrible parody of a hug before you’re dragged behind the curtains and lose sight of the room.

Latula’s let go of him but Dave is still clutching your hand. His tight grip threatens to cut off your blood flow but you don't say anything.

"Ok, so w3’r3 und3r 4tt4ck 4nd th3y h4v3 John 4nd d4d, wh4t 3ls3 could go wrong?” Latula states, letting out a hysterical laugh you’ve only her come from her mouth once before. When she was berating herself for letting an assassination attempt on Jane actually wound her. Jane takes her hand in a successful attempt to calm her, and she takes a deep breath before speaking again “W3 h4v3 to k33p 4 l3v3l h34d," she says, like she's reminding herself, "w3 c4n’t just rush 1n just l1k3 th4t. Could g3t ours3lv3s k1ll3d… D4v3, p33k out through th3 curt41n 4nd w4tch wh4t’s go1ng on,” he nods and moves to the curtain, moving it just enough so that he can peer out. You follow behind him because he hasn’t let go of your hand.

An uneasy silence hangs around your group as Dave starts to describe what’s happening

“There are more thugs coming from the hole in the wall. One of them has Dadbert in his dastardly clutches. I can see a mast out of the hole too, looks like they came from a ship. Fuck, a couple more came in from the doors, they're just standing there like a pair of goddamn guard dogs or something. And they just left John on the floor, the bastards,” you squeeze his hand as he trails off, “fuck, that asshole seadweller just got up and walked to front,” his hand clenches in yours “ he just pulled John up by his hair, got a hand on his back to keep him up like some goddamn ragdoll. We have to-”

“Knights, Heiress, I knowv you’re still here,” Dualscar’s voice echoes across the room, you can’t stop a shiver of dread from racing down your spine. Dave's knuckles are turning white, you notice as you look down, trying to keep yourself from panicking

“I havwe the heir and the king and if you don’t come out in ten minutes I’m going to take the heir’s head and smash it against the wvall, repeatedly, wvhich I’m sure you wvould hate, being swvorn to protect him an’ all. So unless you wvant his brains smashed to pudding I suggest you come out soon” you can hear the smirk in his voice, it reminds you of days you would rather forget.

The silence hangs around you, tension thick. Besides you you can hear Latula take a deep breath.

“Wh3r3 4r3 th3 gu3sts? 4r3 th3y 4lr1ght?” she asks Dave, delaying having to face the painful truth.

“They’re fine, being escorted out of the room as we speak. Douchescar would just hate to make any enemies for his new kingdom right away,” he almost growls out, and you get the feeling you should pap him. You probably would if it wasn’t taking all your concentration to keep yourself together.

Now that you've confirmed that everyone else is safe there is nothing left to say. The silence stretches on past the few beats of a pause. You look away from Dave and see Jane and Latula looking at each other in resignation.

You look back at Dave, who you can tell is having a harder time with this than the rest of you, warrior’s pride nagging at him to fight. But he knows you have no choice, though he looks like he wants to plunge through the curtain to snatch John right from Dualscar's hands regardless.

For your part, you want to throw up at the thought of being at the mercy of the seadweller, but leaving John to die because of your own stupid fear sickens you more than Dualscar possibly could. Everyone looks at each other and it's clear, you're going to turn yourselves in.

“Alright,” Jane takes a deep breath “we all step out together, is everyone ready?” nods all around, you all turning to face the curtain. Jane and Latula step in front of the two of you due to their seniority and perhaps a sense that as the oldest here they need to protect you.

Jane takes the edge of the curtain and prepares to pull it back to reveal your little group when a voice rings out from behind you and stops her short

“Are you reeeeeeeeally just turning yourselves in? What kind of morons are you????????”

-Vriska

Your name is Vriska Serket and there is no way you’re losing Karkat. Dualscar may have just about conquered the kingdom already but you’ll be damned if you’ll let him take Karkat away like he took everyone else.

So when you find him and his ridiculous castle friends (minus one heir, too 8usy 8eing passed the fuck out over there, tough 8r8k) about to turn themselves in you may have freaked the fuck out a little. You glare up at Karkat

“Are you really going to just roll over and let him win? Again????????” he flinches at the memories this inflicts and you would feel bad for bringing it up if the situation weren't so dire. He’s shaken, you can tell, free hand shaking though it's balled in a fist. The other is kept still by the human hand it's locked around, despite this he straightens his back and stares you down

“I CAN’T JUST LET THE ROYAL DOUCHE SMASH JOHN’S HEAD IN!” he’s going to say something else but before he can he’s interrupted

“Fivwe minutes left,” Dualscar informs everyone smugly from behind the curtain. You can’t help but grind your teeth, and you can see it makes Dave tense as well.

Besides them the heiress and her knight regard you with worry, you can all but smell their mistrust. They want to ask you exactly who you are to question their decision but they know they've got no time to waste and you do too

“Look, this is a stupid plan for losers”

“Wh4t would you sugg3st th3n?” the older knight is glaring down at you and you glare right back. Like hell you’re gonna back down just because she's taller than you, if you did you'd never get anything done

“I suggest you get the royals out of there and let me handle Dualscar,” you say and before she can get a word in you continue “Look, I can distract him, my ancestor was his kismesis and he thinks I’m dead. My appearance will surprise him enough to let you guys rush in and snatch the heir and king away from him,” you say straightening yourself out in an effort to make yourself look as much taller as you can. For once you're thankful for the dreadful shoes you've been forced to wear to keep yourself from tripping over the hem of your dress.

She seems to consider the idea and the heiress frowns next to her

“We should try…” she says slowly, looking like she’s considering this. She walks over to a display case in which a broken 2x3dent of the Empress rests, opening it and taking the weapon for herself.

You have no idea how anyone in this kingdom could have managed to fight the Condesce face to face, much less break off one of the ends. And how could they have managed to bring it back with them? You're suddenly hit with the urge to find out, it must be a great story, you'll have to remember to ask about it if any of you survive this mess.

"Dad wouldn’t want us to turn ourselves in without a fight, and I’m sure John would agree,” oh, she’s starting to actually looked psyched for this, good, the others should listen to her. Satisfied you turn back to Karkat and his friend (who is shorter than you hah!!!!!!!!) and you can tell he doesn’t like your plan

“VRISKA I CAN’T JUST LET YOU GO FACE HIM ALONE… HE IS A GROWNASS SEADWELLER AND YOU’RE A RUNTY WRIGGLER, HE’S GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOU!” he whisper shouts at you and you frown at him

“Well you’re in no shape to take him on with me and you should focus on your charge anyway,” you snap at him before spinning around, flipping your hair back at them and heading closer to the middle of the room where you can make a better entrance. And no you're certainly not bitter that he seems to care more about them than you, even if you have known each other longer, totally not. Before you can get very far Karkat takes your wrist and holds you tight

"I'M SERIOUS VRISKA, I CAN'T JUST LEAVE YOU TO DIE AT HIS CLAWS," he looks desperate and you realize he probably wants to lose you about as much as you want to lose him. Which is to say not at all, so you relent, since the dickwad's gonna stay here you'll have another chance to face him, hopefully this time with Karkat at your side

"Fine!" you jerk your wrist out of his grip "I'll distract him just long enough for you to get Johnny-8oy and then I'll leave with you, are you happy now????????" he nods and you leave, this time for real

“Threeeeeeee minuteeeeeeees!” you hear before you can slip out from behind the curtain. Oh god he’s using your ancestor’s quirk to mock them. How daaaaaaaare he!!!!!!!! Your teeth grind together, you’re going to make this fucker pay.

“Get ready,” you growl back at them and step through the curtain.

-John

Your name is... John Egbert and your head hurts. Seriously this pounding in your skull has got to stop, you can hardly think! A shout just brought you back to the land of the living and wow, you really wish it hadn’t.

There’s a tight grip on your hair and the pressure it’s putting on your scalp makes you wince, letting out a little breath of pain. You open your eyes but the amount of light seems to be too much for your pounding head to handle. Your slam them shut again and as they do you hear a voice coming from somewhere in front of you

“Did you really think you could kill my ancestor in cold 8lood and get away with it scot free????????" the person holding you lets out a cold chuckle from behind you, it makes the hairs on your neck stand on end

“Think I already did Minifang. Bringin’ the wvrath of an ovwerconfident wvriggler on myself hardly counts as a consequence,” a growl is the only response. You once again try opening your eyes, this time just a crack. You're worried the person currently growling up a storm will just snap and attack your captor, leaving you in the crossfire. As your vision clears you open your eyes more and finally catch sight of the girl threatening to gut you in an attempt to get at the man behind you.

The first thing that comes to mind when you see her is that wow, she’s cute.

She’s a troll, with mismatched horns and eyes, about as short as Dave with long messy hair, and she's glaring up at your captor with murder in her eyes. And you think maybe this blow to the head is affecting you more than you thought because murderous rage shouldn’t look that attractive on anyone.

This knowledge doesn’t slow your heartbeat when she takes a single step, forcing herself to stop before she can take another. Her torn dress flutters in the breeze from the somewhere behind you, though you don't know where, as far as you know theres just wall there, not even any windows or anything. But it just makes her look more imposing, a warrior glaring up in defiance, despite being tiny and outnumbered.

While you're distracted by the mysterious girl you hear a yelp from behind you and find yourself falling, before you’re jerked back by a rough grip on your elbow

“I’VE GOT YOU,” you hear Karkat’s ever hoarse voice as he drags you back up and wraps your arm over his shoulder. He drags you away from the center of ceremonies, you feel something tug at your back as you go and turn to find the seadweller from before. On his knees, presumably from Karkat's surprise attack, but his hand is locked around your ankle

"Not so fast little kn-" before he can finish his sentence your father appears beside him and slams the cake from the ceremony, into Dualscar's surprised face. It hits him hard enough to knock him down the steps and into the first row of seats making the troll girl, still standing in the aisle jump back.

"Go son, I'll hold them back. And know I'm proud of all of you," he smiles at you before turning to fight the guards that Dave had staggered and and takes the boy's arm, shoving him towards you and Karkat. He stumbles but rights himself quickly and moves under your free arm.

You hear a yelp from where Dualscar landed and you turn just in time to see the troll girl running towards you, stumbling a little in her high heels

"Couldn't resist smacking him a little," she says as she catches up and the three of you slip under the curtain "was hard to just give him one kick though..."

“YEAH YEAH WE ALL APPRECIATE HOW HARD IT WAS FOR YOU TO RESIST VRISKA, CAN YOU QUIT THE WHINING UNTIL WE’RE SAFE?” so that's her name, you can't help thinking that it sounds pretty. Vriska laughs but doesn’t say anything else as you all run to the exit. Jane’s waiting for you at the entrance, what looks like the broken empresses' trident in her grip. She lets you all through before pulling the door shut behind you, pulling down a bar to block it.

She takes a second to brush her hand over your forehead muttering about how she wishes she could tend to your forehead right now. You don’t have time to reassure her before Karkat’s yelling at everyone to hurry. Jane shoos Dave out from under your arm and takes his place, her trident on the floor next to her like a walking stick.

There is pounding on the entrance to the passageway and it echoes through the space as all five of you barrel down the path. Soon those fade and the scuffing noises of your boots on the stone and the shuffling sounds of cloth against wall are the only sounds that remain.

It doesn’t take long for you to reach the end of the tunnel, gathering behind where Latula is peeking out through a hole in the door

“Th3r3 4r3 thr33 of th3m gu4rd1ng th3 3ntr4nc3, and probably a few more outside. Th3y’r3 4ll hug3, but 1f w3 don’t mov3 now th3r3 w1ll b3 3v3n mor3. D4v3, Vr1sk4, you’r3 w1th m3, w3’r3 go1ng to t4k3 down thos3 lummox3s, J4n3, K4rk4t, you h4v3 to focus on g3tt1ng John p4st th3 f1ght 4nd out of h3r3 4s soon 4s poss1bl3,” there was no time to argue, everyone nods "l3t's go."

The shortest too scoots past your little group from the back as Latula slams the door open and charges out, Dave and Vriska on her tail. They clamber out keeping the focus away from your group so your exit can go unnoticed.

By the time you reach the end of the hall the three of them have managed to take down two of the guards when another three have come in from outside. Latula stabs the closest one with her sword as soon as he joins the fray, avoiding his sword and tripping him before finishing him off with a jab in the chest. Meanwhile Vriska and Dave are busy taking care of the third guard from inside. Vriska's distracting him with taunts and stabs from her little dagger, weaving around him to avoid his slow blows while Dave hacks at him. It doesn't take long for them to finish him off, leaving him to bleed out blue on the floor.

The three of them move to meet the last two guards, late enough to the party that they are still quite near the hall's door. You watch as the short pair makes short work of the first, having adjusted well to each others fighting styles.

Latula is about to finish off the last one when one of his blows manages to land on her knocking her aside, she falls. Dave and Vriska swarm on the attacker before he can get another blow in felling him before he can do any more damage.

It takes you a while to notice but you aren't moving anymore, you've stopped in place a few feet from the door. When you turn to your companions to see why. Jane is frozen, staring at the fallen Latula on the other side of the room even as Dave kneels next to her to check her head. You can tell she wants nothing more than to run to her knight's side consequences be damned but she's worried about you. Karkat seems to catch on to her feelings as well

"GO ON, I'LL WATCH JOHN," he says and you nod

"Yeah go on sis, I'll be fine!" you say taking your weight off her and standing straighter to reassure her, though you're still pretty dizzy. She still looks guilty but rushes to the unconscious Latula's side anyway, leaving the broken trident in your hand to help steady you. She shoos Dave and Vriska over to you as soon as she arrives, they wordlessly start across the room to join you.

Jane runs her hand over the unconscious knight's head and winces before picking her up bridal style. Turning to you just as Dave and Vriska reach you, the former tucking himself under your arm and against your side once again.

The door to the ceremony room slams open and the voice of the seadwelling invader sounds out through the hall

“Get the heirs! Nowv!” he looks more disheveled than when you last saw him, fancy clothes torn, cake on his neck and chest, and a black eye. Dad must have done some serious damage before they managed to stop him. Even the thugs that swarm out look pretty roughed up and there's only two of them.

Jane stops in place as they swarm around her, not noticing your party yet

She doesn't move or say anything just looks at you and tilts her head towards the door. You're too worried to move but Karkat and Dave are and they're making you move too.

It takes them a little but Dualscar and the thugs realize what she's doing and turn towards you. Fortunately it's too late to stop you, as you're already at the door stumbling to keep up even as your heart is shattering. Your father, your sister, Latula, they're all stuck in here, your home at the mercy of a conquering asshole.

“Follow me!!!!!!!! I know where we can go!” Vriska says already at the lead as you reach the entrance of the town. You look back just as you make it to the castle gate, the last thing you see is Dualscar walking up to your captured sister with a smug look on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's that, wasn't that exciting (im sorry) but im so glad i managed to finish on time! now i just need to finish my other deadline, ch.3 for Bargaining with Beasts by friday, should be simple tho! those chapters are a lot shorter than these! anyway, i hoped you liked it but expect something a little different for the next few chapters! a change of place if you will, anyway toodles! reviews and kudos are appreciated! have a nice day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we get a new setting, new characters, new ships. Rose executes a daring escape, skipping town with none other than Damara after spending quite a few years in the gilded cage that was once her home, now the stronghold of the usurpers that pushed the strilonde family out of power and captured half of them, exiling the rest, among the captured is Dirk, who was also in the castle planning his escape, which was to happen merely a week after Rose's though apparently that was a week too late for her, we get to see him get visited by none other than Jake, who he hasn't seen in years but whom he still has a crush on from his childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a very action packed chapter here, after a very long delay sorry, i will try to not take as long with the next chapter sadly that will be yet another chapter in yet another place, well that or another one with these guys, but i dont know, gonna change around my plans for this some, but whatever here you go, make of this what you will

-Dirk

Your name is Dirk Strider and you have a feeling today going to be horrible. Not that that’s a surprise, today your sister plans to escape from this god-forsaken castle, and it’s a terrible idea. This isn’t because her plan is a bad one, but because with your escape coming so soon she hardly has an excuse not to wait. You’d think that after being stuck here for a few years she could stand to wait a few more days, but apparently not.

You get up, groaning as you get out of bed. Your joints are stiff from sleep, you’ve been spending too much time sleeping since your imprisonment started. Before, you were known to go a day or two without because of this or that, always something to do, some project to work on. But now, you don’t have any projects, you hardly have anything to do at all, the only thing you have is a few new books to read every month and you’re lucky to have even that. Fitting in a couple of hours of dreams between activity is in your best interest. 

But now you don’t have to think about how you have nothing to do, instead focusing on getting dressed. By the time you’re done it’s already time for breakfast, and your guards come to get you. 

You step out without a word, they greet you in much the same manner. As they escort you to the dining room you glance at the paintings on the wall, bloated brutes or horse faced schemers look back at you with painted eyes, ancestors of the usurpers currently ruling Derse. It makes you sick to see their faces on the wall and not the faces of your family. A daily reminder that it isn’t your castle or even your kingdom anymore. 

Arriving in the dining room you find the king is already stuffing himself, though this comes as no surprise, the same sight greets you whenever you enter this room. After seeing him shovel so much food into his mouth for every meal you’re surprised his stomach hasn’t burst yet.

Rose sits across from you in silence, as usual. To her sides stand the guards that escorted her here, mirroring yours across the table. You sit at the end of the table, to either side of the fake royalty sits, close enough for the queen to keep her eyes on you. Unlike her husband she eats slowly, with an elegance befitting her station, she’s the brains behind the operation and it is painfully obvious to anyone who lays eyes on her. Her eyes rarely stray from the two of you, not quite trusting the guards to watch you as diligently as she would like. She likes to pretend she’s always watching, but you aren’t fooled, you know she doesn’t see nearly as much as she thinks. Sometimes you stare her down, just meeting her eyes until she eventually looks away, but not today. Today you spend the meal ignoring your jailers at the head of the table and exchanging messages with Rose via strategic finger taps and utensil wielding.

‘Rose, postpone your escape and wait with me, otherwise you are going to get yourself captured and then we’ll both be stuck here indefinitely. It’s just one more week,’ you tell her, although you know trying to dissuade her is useless. You’ve been trying to change her mind since she told you about the plan in the first place, she won’t listen to reason. 

‘When the sun leaves the sky so shall I, leaving this place at last. This is a fact, and I will not return until I have the power to reclaim our kingdom once and for all.’ She tells you, always far too poetic in her messages, and punctuates her declaration by slicing her steak, ending the conversation.

Finally you are excused, the two of you escorted to your newly cleaned rooms in silence. You take a seat on your bed and resist the urge to sigh, this is going to be a disaster, of that you’re sure and you have nothing to do but to wait for it. You look at the suit of armor standing in the corner, standing there to mock you. Something you made when you were free to go wherever you wanted, several years ago. 

You really miss making things, a few years ago you would be heading off to the see the Blacksmith around this time, Jake at your side, ready to learn more about the craft. Now the only entertainment and knowledge you get is from the books the queen ever so graciously allows you to check out from the castle library once a month, and you have to carefully pace your reading so you don’t blow through them too fast. 

There is only one more thing that provides any entertainment, besides the consolation of sleep, you get frequent notes from your co-conspirators within the castle, news on what’s going on in the kingdom, progress reports on how your plans are coming along. You aren’t expecting any today, still, you check under your pillow just in case, sometimes they surprise you. You find a scrap of paper underneath your pillow.

It’s folded twice and when you open it your heart skips a beat because of the familiar handwriting.

‘Hey Dirk! I know we agreed not to send correspondence willy nilly but this is important! I’ve had a present for you for a while now! But since we can never see each other I hadn’t gotten the chance to give it to you. So I’m taking this opportunity to sneak into your room while Rose’s got everyone all rustled up and give it to you!

Can’t wait to see you!  
-Jake’ 

He’s coming to see you. It’s been so long you can hardly remember his voice… The memory of his face more than a little faded, blurred at the edges like a portrait in disrepair. You don’t know what do with this information. You can already feel the urge to get up and pace. Impatience driving you to movement, it's going to be hell waiting for sunset and you can hardly think of what you will do to pass the time. You force yourself to take a seat and grab one of your books. It isn’t time to read yet but you need something to distract yourself with for a little while. Through all your nerves you can’t help but think today might not be so horrible after all.

-Rose

Your name is Rose Lalonde and today you’re finally escaping this gilded cage. The light of the sunset is drifting in through the balcony doorway, draping an orange tint over your room, the fading light signalling your immanent freedom. You get up from your desk, closing the book you were reading and crouch to retrieve your secret weapon hidden under the bed. From behind covers of lace and down you bring out the bomb Damara snuck in for you and the flints you will use to light it. Dangerous items in hand, you stand, a grin spreading on your face,.

You place it in front of your door, where it is sure to destroy it. Striking the rocks together. The tiny spark is carefully grown into a small flame and you grin victoriously for a second before rushing behind your bed, getting on your knees to brace yourself, covering your ears. You wait, the usual silence made unbearable by anticipation.

It takes a minute before the bomb goes off, but when it does it’s loud enough to pierce through your flesh and into your eardrums even as you feel its vibrations rock through the room. You’re thankful Damara warned you to cover your ears when she smuggled it because as it is your ears are still ringing. 

Before the dust settles you make a dash for the door. Well you can’t really call it a door anymore, it’s more like a gaping hole in the wall. The guards that were standing in front of your room are now on the floor, unconscious and covered in bits of rubble. You waste no time in running past them and rushing down the hallway towards the kitchen, the only safe haven you might find in the entire castle, seeing as it serves as the base for most of your contacts. 

The room is not empty by any stretch of the imagination but the workers do not even bat an eye at your sudden appearance, continuing to prepare for dinner. The only one who does not ignore you is the head chef himself. A short, chubby Dersite, he waves at you from the other side of the kitchen, making it hard for him to keep his ridiculous hat on his head,

"Hey kiddo! The bomb went off great didn't it? I knew it! Made it right special just for you!" he says, grinning, you smile politely at him, managing to thank him before an exasperated assistant steals his attention, forcing him to go back to his work. You really are thankful for his assistance, but you are afraid his noisy demeanor will attract unwanted attention before your companion arrives. You have to wait for her now, moving to an out of the way corner where you won’t be seen from the hallway.

You see a couple of guards rush past before she arrives and it sets you on edge, although you do your best to hide it. Damara comes in, wiping her hands over her skirt as she enters the kitchen. Looking as intimidating as ever, she strides into the room, her customary cold gaze sweeping over the room. You haven’t seen her in a while, because while it is true that it is mostly her job to clean yours and Dirk’s rooms (and leave messages for the two of you while she does so) she always does it while the king and queen have you out for breakfast or lunch. You would see her occasionally, but only briefly when passing each other in the hallways or from the balcony when she was in town. There are heavy bags under her eyes, you think the queen must have been giving her more work than usual, she was driven to sleeplessness preparing for your journey. Either way the first thing she does when she sees you is give you a big smile and wrap her arms around you in a warm embrace, muttering something in her native tongue before letting go of you and stepping back to look you over

“READY TO GO?” she asks, the eager tone in her voice bringing a grin to your face as you nod. 

For reasons that she would not reveal, Damara’s first language is an ancient tongue that everyone thought was long dead. Something you had only realized when she had looked at an ancient tome, written in said tongue that you were struggling to decipher and had started translating for you. Your mother then proceeded to elevate her from a mere maid to the official transcriber of ancient works. She had even started teaching you the language before your family was dethroned, but as you hadn’t had the chance to have any more lessons since the usurpers took over you had since forgotten most of what you did learn.

But you sweep thoughts of the past aside when she hands you a cloak, there’s another one in her hands that she wraps around herself and the two of you exit the back of the kitchen into the courtyard. As the two of you make your way by the shadowy edges on the way to town a few guards rush in and out, and you have to stop as they do, worried movement will draw their attention, luckily they do not notice you and you can enter town without any issues.

Walking through the town sets you on edge, there are just so many people roaming the streets… More people than you’ve even seen in a long time. You’re hyper-aware of every brush against a faceless stranger, terrified you’ll be found out and dragged back to the castle and possibly be forced to watch them execute Damara, as if just being back in their claws wouldn’t be bad enough. You can see guards up ahead, looking over everyone, obviously looking for you and the way you’re headed you’re going to walk right into them. You straighten your back prepared to feign confidence, but before you get the chance to Damara pulls you to the side into an alley

“COME ON,” she pulls you along. Speeding up as she navigates the back streets leading you towards the edge of town. As you emerge into a larger street Damara freezes and you see she’s bumped into a guard, your heart leaps into your throat as he turns to look at her.  
“Hey- wait a second, you work at the castle why are you out here so early?” he asks, looking Damara, eyes scanning her before landing on you behind her. There’s a pause and then he lets out a yelp as she drags him into the alley and brings her claws against his neck, easily ripping out his throat. There’s no pause before she takes your hand and comes out onto the street at a normal pace, but the gurgling sound you hear from behind you makes you sick.

“LET’S GO,” she whispers as the two of you quietly walk out of town, keeping to the shadows as you take your leave. Although you’re still thinking about the soldier you left to die, you’re still glad to have Damara at your side as you see the world outside the castle for the first time in ages. When you see the stars come out you can’t help but think they might be just a little brighter than they ever looked from your balcony.

-Jake 

Your name is Jake English and oh boy are you excited! Today you’re getting to spend time with your best bro for the first time in years! And not only that but you have a gift for him that is sure to lift his spirits! You grin to yourself as you walk down the corridor towards his room. You stop before you turn the corner to the hallway it’s in and lean against the wall. You can’t very well let his guards see you loitering, and it'll be a while before the explosion should sound anyway. 

Back pressed against the wall you slide down to the floor and take a seat. As you wait for the time to pass you recall how you got Dirk’s gift in the first place. It was all because of your current job. Before Dirk’s family had fallen out of power you had been a page, training under the kingdom’s most distinguished knight in order to someday become one yourself, but this had changed when the new rulers had taken over. The knight you had served under disappeared along with the king in order to avoid execution and you… well you had been demoted to a mere stable boy.

As the title implied you would mostly just clean the stables and help take care of the horses and whatnot at the whim of the stable master, but occasionally you would be sent to do errands for the knights staying at the castle. Usually they would have their pages do it for them but when they were busy or sick the duty fell to you. This time you had been sent to pick up some inconsequential commision from the best blacksmith in Derse. 

The walk over there had been full of wistful memories from before Dirk’s family had lost their position, back then you had come here often. Dirk had had a passion for metal craft ever since he was very young, admiring every fine sword and suit of armour he caught sight of, and once he had turned twelve the King and Queen had allowed him to start an apprenticeship under the blacksmith, giving him a gift to use while he learned of course.They gave him a bag of tools all neatly arranged for his use, Dirk had loved it, both the work and the gift. He took to blacksmithing like a duck to water, and he would carefully take care of his tools everyday, always cleaning them and putting them away meticulously. 

And whenever your knight had allowed it you had joined him, not learning anything yourself but completing some menial task for the blacksmith or watching in awe as he created beautiful weapons and armor. You remember seeing the sheer joy the work brought him, invisible to most people, what with his stoic face, but clear to you, who had known him since the two of you were toddlers, the way his fingers would trail lovingly over the tools each time he put them away at the end of the day, the way his footsteps were just a little bit louder when the two of you walked back to the castle, heavy with joy. It had been a good time.

And recalling this had put you in a good mood by the time you had walked into the old blacksmith’s workshop. As you looked around you realized that it didn’t look very different from when you and Dirk used to come here, the room was deceptively tidy in the front, where wares were bought and sold, but beyond in the work area it was quite different you remember, the room a mess of organized chaos.

“Hold on I’ll be right with ya,” you hear from the back and you smile at the familiar voice. You waited near the entrance, taking in the appearance of the old place, awash in thoughts of the past before the old man finished up his task and walked up to you, rubbing at his hands with a rag

“How can I help you young man?”

“Yes, hello I’m here to pick up an order for-”

“Waaaaaait a second! I remember you!” the old man interrupts before you can finish “You’re that kid that used to come around with the prince before these new royals took over ain’t ya?” he asks, smiling at the memories, and you nod, glad he remembered you “I almost didn’t recognize ya, you’ve grown so much!”

“I was wondering if you would, it has been a while hasn’t it?” you laugh “It’s good to see you’re doing well,”

“Indeed, I’ve even been getting more business ever since the new rulers took over, an unusual amount of trolls too, pretty odd, it’s almost like they’re preparing for war… but surely that can’t be. After all those years spent fighting Prospit… It was before you were born surely, but let me tell you those times were not good…” he shakes his head and you nod solemnly, from what you’d heard about the war with Prospit you knew it wasn’t pleasant in the least. It had finally ended when Dirk’s family rose to power, these days no one liked to bring it up.

“Oh!” the blacksmith breaks the silence, bringing his hand down on the tabletop “I just remembered something, hold on, I have to go get it…” he trails off rushing to the back of the shop and into the back room. He came back shortly with a familiar bag

“Is that...?”

“It sure is,” he smiles “This is the prince’s tool bag, he just so happened to forget it here before… well… you know,” you nod, you know exactly what he means “and since you’re here… well who better to give the prince back his tools than his childhood friend hmm…?” he asks giving you the bag and you’re speechless

“I… Thank you,” he smiles 

“It’s nothing,” he says laughing, “I was tired of looking at it all dejected on my desk covered in dust after all these years, I’m glad it’ll finally go back to its owner,” and you nod, you’re sure Dirk will be ecstatic to get this back, though at the time you had no idea how you were going to get it back to him. But even as happy as you are you remember you still have a job to do.

“Umm… now as for why I came down here…”

That day seemed like ages ago now. It almost felt like you’d had the tool bag for years and had just been looking for an opportunity to hand it over to Dirk so when Damara told you about the escape planned today… well you couldn’t very well let the opportunity go to waste now could you? No sir-ee-

You’re shaken out of your reverie by an explosion not to far from here, no doubt coming from Rose’s room

“What the hell is that?” you hear one guard say

“I don’t know, this can’t be good!” the other answers and before long you hear them running off and your lips crack into a smile, time to see Dirk.

You get up and stroll into the hallway with a skip in your step and for a second you realize that you probably should have made sure no one was there before you came out but since no one was there the point is moot. You’re so happy! You’re almost jumping for joy when you get out the key that Damara gave you and open the lock and wow, there he is. Sitting up on his bed, hair a mess, no doubt having just woken up from a nap, a little odd since he didn’t used to nap before at all but you guess it makes sense, he must not have a lot to do. But it doesn't matter because you are just so happy! It’s been so long since you’ve seen him!

“Jake…” he says, still wearing that ever present poker face of his but you’re glad to see his tells haven't changed. You can tell he’s equal parts excited and nervous, you can’t blame him, you’re in the same boat.

As he gets up you notice he looks a little different than you remember, although that’s to be expected. Though his hair is still a mess, you can tell it is longer than it was before, and that it wasn’t in that weird spiky style he used to have, no doubt the royals didn’t give him any means to take care of his hair himself. He’s also a little more robust than you remember, no longer the skin and bones he used to be. You guess it must be because of the enforced meal schedule he has now, when he was free to eat whenever he wanted he would often skip meals to work on projects or train or read, despite the queen and Roxy’s best efforts. But now you’re sure he’s been eating everyday, every time they walk him down to the dining hall for a meal.

It’s been a minute or two and you realize that neither of you have said anything. Too busy studying each other to do much else you suppose, you smile at him

“I’ve missed you dearly Dirk!” you say and step forward to wrap your arms around him, a barely noticeable twitch lets you know you surprised him. You don’t want to risk making him uncomfortable by being in his personal space much longer than this so you take a step back out of his bubble and rub the back of your head “sorry about that ol’ chap, It’s just so great to see you after all this time,” you feel a little embarrassed but you’re still smiling and you’re pretty sure he barely minds

“Jake I-”

“Oh dear, I should get to your present before those nasty guards show up again now shouldn’t I?” you say, taking the bag from where, it’s tied to your belt “Remember this?” you ask smiling as he steps closer in shock

“Jake-my-! When did you get this?” he can hardly get the words out

“Well they sent me on an errand to the blacksmith a few months ago and he just so happened to remember me from back when we used to spend the days there,” you smile at him, not without a tinge of sadness, his hands tighten on the toolbag.

“Jake, I… I can’t believe you’re after all this time,” he says, smiling, though you can see an uncertainty there that is unfamiliar “I’ve spent so much time alone here and now…”

Dirk had been closing the gap between you since the start of the sentence but you hadn’t thought anything of it until he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours, freezing you in surprise and he jumps back immediately, face tinged red and straight face but a certain tightness in his stance giving away his nerves. Of course this isn't something you get the chance to notice, given that your mental capacity has been diminished to equal a rock’s by surprise

“Jake I…” he trails off, not looking you in the eyes, one of his fingers desperately tapping the tool bag still in his hand, not being able to muster any words he wanders off to carefully hide the bag behind a brick in his wall, one of the little secret storage nooks, you remember. For your part you have mostly recovered from the surprise, though your face is still hot, but now the silence has gone on too long and feels oppressively painful in the air but it feels like breaking it would be even worse… Still you muster up your courage and gather the breath to speak as he walks back, having replaced the brick in the wall to perfectly hide the precious treasure behind it

“Dirk, I didn’t know-” and that’s when that quiet moment is shattered by a guard slamming open the door

“An intruder!” they yell scowling and rushing into the room to grab you roughly by the shoulder “I don’t know what you were trying to do here with the prince but it looks like you just fucked up,” he growls “I’ll take this traitor to the queen, you watch the prince,” he tells his companion and they nod taking their place next to the door as the guard drags you out of the room. You look back at Dirk one last time before the door closes but any words you might have said got caught in your throat as the door slams shut. The last you see of him he’s got his hands in fists at his sides, you’re not sure whether that signals anger or fear.

You’re dragged to the queen herself, sitting in the throne room but more stressed than you’d ever seen her, the king nowhere to be seen

“...let her escape! You had better find her before she escapes the city, or I’ll make your heads roll, understood?” she’s growling when you come in, guards in front of her shaking at the fury she’s exuding ‘Yes ma'am!’ they answer in unison before leaving the room in a rush

“Your majesty!” the guard holding you calls as he approaches the throne “We found this stable boy in the prince’s room after we returned from investigating the explosion the princess caused,” he says shoving you in front of him with his harsh grip on your shoulder. She sneers down at you, the anger she was venting at the guards now directed towards you.

“Send him to the dungeon, we will have to see what we can get out of him as soon as we manage to catch that little brat,” she hisses out , gaze dripping with cold malice, you gulp. Whenever the queen wants to know something she will do anything to get the information. And as you’re dragged to the dungeon a shiver races down your spine as you imagine what she’s going to do to you.

The door creaks open and you can’t see anything except for the stone walls and steps illuminated by the torch your captor holds in his other hand. He pushes you down the stairs, nearly causing you to fall over multiple times, but somehow you manage to keep your balance. You hear groans echo through the space as you reach the bottom of the stairs emanating from seemingly every direction. Your footsteps echo as you’re led further into the dungeon until the guard finally stops to open a cell and fling you inside, the first thing you notice is a foul stench

“This particular prisoner kicked the bucket a few days ago and we haven’t bothered getting him out yet,” he laughs as he locks the cell door “I hope you don’t mind.”

Finally he leaves, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the groans of the prisoners surrounding you

“What am I going to do…?” you ask the air in a heavy whisper, but to your surprise an comes answer from the cell in front of yours

“Jakey… Is that you?” you hear a hoarse voice ask from across the hallway.

“H-how do you know my name?” you ask, scooting closer to the front of your cell, you hear a bitter laugh

“Well I can’t blame ya for not recognizing me, it has been an awfully long time, and in here they don’t give ya almost anything worth drinking, much less anything strong enough to get me tipsy like I always used to be…” a sigh follows and you finally recognize that voice…

“...Your majesty, is that you?”

“Hah! I haven’t been called that in a looong time, can’t exactly say I miss it. But you know me better than that Jakey, it’s like I always used to say, you can call me Mom."


End file.
